What’s in a year?

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What’s in a year?  The easiest answer is to state the facts – twelve months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours.  Although I should warn you Maths is not my strong point.  Today, a year ago, I sat in my consultant’s room and heard those dreaded words, “I’m sorry, you have breast cancer.” Stage 2, invasive ductal breast cancer, to be precise.

I sat in that room and went numb for a few moments.  It was just me, him and the breast cancer nurse.  I asked questions, but have no recollection of what exactly I asked nor what the answers were.  All I know is that there was no re-wind button.  There was only moving forward.  No other option.  The machine was in motion.  Two days later I had another nasty biopsy procedure on my right breast as there were concerns about that one.  Fortunately unfounded.  And, exactly a week after learning of my diagnosis, I went under the knife to have the offending lump and some lymph nodes removed from my left side.  A few weeks after that, another minor surgical procedure to have a portacath inserted into the right side of my chest – this would be the port of entry for months of chemotherapy and the site from which countless blood samples woud be taken.  And blood transfusions given.

Twelve months have gone by and I’ve got through surgeries, chemotherapy, faintings, debilitating fatigue and general apathy, pneumonia, partial loss of heart function (now recovered), radiotherapy and a raft of other tests.  My body’s been scanned and prodded.  I’ve even done the unthinkable and got tattoed!  (just kidding – tiny blue dot tattoos somewhere on my boobs to help align the radiotherapy machines) And I’ve got my boobs out on demand so many times I’ve become utterly blase about it.  Here I am, still standing, feeling great, and I’m full of hope and humour and the promise of good things to come.

A year is a unit of time.  But a year can be measured by so much more than the units of hours, days and months.  My measures for the past year are in the renewed health, vitality and sense of wellbeing I now have and the inner strength that got me through it all.  In the love and support of close friends and family, the great care from all the medical professionals and incredible compassion, understanding and support from colleagues and bosses at work. It’s been a good year… I can say that because my experience of cancer has opened my eyes to how much I have to live for.

PS.  It’s been a busy couple of months, hence no writing for all this time.

17 thoughts on “What’s in a year?”

  2. What an inspirational woman you are! Thank you for sharing your incredibly personal story. Your bravery and positive attitude shines through your writing. Lots of love to you Zsa Zsa xxxx

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  4. Wow ZsaZsa, what a journey you have had … Mom had the same a few years back … not for the faint-hearted … Mazeltov on your year well-walked … x

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    • Thanks Marianne. Yes, I remember your Mum going through it. She’s a great testimony. Life is precious. I know that’s a cliche, but it’s true. Hope you’re well. ~ZZ x

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  6. You certainly have had your fair share of “you know what” makes all my stuff seem trivial really. So proud of you for staying so positive and numerous – but I’m sure there were days that were not so numerous – well done and stay fit and healthy – you are looking so good. Lots of love

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    • Thanks Janet. We all have our own paths to carve through life. Comparisons aren’t helpful. Our respective experiences and the pain we suffer, whether physical or emotional, are very personal and subjective. You have much to be proud of as you’ve overcome so much and have raised wonderful children (still are!) pretty much single-handedly and have dealt with your own demons with determination, tenacity and resilience. Big hugs to you, ~ZZx

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  7. Thank you Zsa Zsa for sharing your journey.
    My wish for you is that the following years will be filled with good health and well-being and all the happiness that life can bring. xx

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